He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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