the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
