no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
