we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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