you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
