I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
