oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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