shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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