like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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