Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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