So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My life is pants optional.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
