i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
