but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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