last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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