Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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