I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize