So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
