Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Pooping to opera.
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