No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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