if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
