question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
