She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
