I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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