I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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