My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
