I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
