God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
