I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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