There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
