So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize
