Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
