ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
