She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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