On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
did i just pee glitter
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