Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
