I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So vagazzling was a success
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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