I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
