The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
