the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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