Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
