Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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