Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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