she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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