Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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