guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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