you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
