I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
