Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
