rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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