I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
