i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
worst night to have a conscience
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
