all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
