super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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