Who wears a wallet chain?!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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