the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
