I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
