Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
