____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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