Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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