I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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