Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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