Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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