No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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