We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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